In honor of Stalking Awareness Month, I’d like to explore how stalking and other forms of sexual harassment are depicted and discussed through the media we consume. Countless media portrayals regularly misrepresent stalking and other forms of violence, leading to victim-blaming, minimization, and disbelief from society at large.

These misrepresentations can often wildly skew our understanding of offender typology; this is especially true of films such as Fatal Attraction, Misery, and Swimfan – in which the main offenders are women, distracting audiences from the fact that men make up nearly 90% of stalking perpetrators. Beyond even misinformation, the media’s biggest blunder when it comes to stalking is its tendency to minimize and even romanticize stalking behaviors. While this problem spans a wide variety of popular media, I’d like to focus on music.

More so than movies and television, music has constantly attempted to explore the themes of sex, relationships, and love. And as we all know, where there’s love, there’s also the misapplication of it.  While there are literally countless examples of romanticized violence in music, I’m going to focus on only two recent songs and their respective music videos: Maroon 5’s “Animals” (2014) and Death Cab for Cutie’s “I Will Possess Your Heart” (2008). I’ve chosen these two due to the extreme disparity in their styles, just to highlight the spectrum of these misinterpretations.

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 In memory of our dear friend Walter

Walter Cason was the most humble person you would ever have the chance to meet. He loved his family, adored his grandchildren, and was a voracious reader. Never would you know that our friend Walter was a theologian, missionary, source of inspiration for Desmond Tutu, and technology guru.

Dr. John Walter Cason passed away peacefully on November 3, 2014, at Carolina Meadows. A memorial service and celebration of Dr. Cason’s life was attended by family and friends at the Church of Reconciliation on December 6, 2014.

Walter Cason grew up in East Texas and was ordained in the Methodist Church. He obtained a Master of Divinity Degree from Southern Methodist University in Dallas. Walter was a Methodist missionary helping to reestablish Cuttington College near Gbanga, Liberia. He earned his Ph.D. from Union Theological Seminary while serving as a missionary and nourished his life-long passion for education and exploring new fields of study.

Walter later became a member of the Evangelical Theological Seminary faculty in Naperville, Illinois, which later became the Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in 1974. He was remembered as an explorer of the new politics of liberation theology and the transformative role of church teachings.

After more than a decade in Liberia, Walter joined the staff of the Theological Education Fund of the World Council of Churches, working out of New York City and London to support theological education in Africa. His work led him to travel throughout the African continent supporting seminaries and churches working for social justice.

With his wife, Mary Smithies Cason of Bradford, England, he spent a sabbatical year in Zimbabwe on a research project. He later returned to teach for a semester at the University of Zimbabwe.

Walter and Mary retired to Chapel Hill in 1994 and immediately entered a new life of volunteer service working with the Orange County Rape Crisis Center. Walter served as Treasurer on the Board of Directors and later as a member of the Finance Committee. He also volunteered at Eyes, Ears, Nose and Paws, a local organization that trains and places service dogs.

Both Walter and Mary have been longtime supporters of the Church of Reconciliation. For several years, Walter served on the church’s Finance Committee and also as chair for the Social Justice Committee.

We will remember Walter for his wonderful smile, wise cracks, and commitment to helping others. Our thoughts are with Mary, his children, extended family, and friends.

Sexual violence is a community issue that can be prevented! Bystander intervention is one way that all community members can use their problem solving skills and creativity to positively impact the lives of their friends, neighbors, and loved ones.

What is a bystander?

A bystander is a person who is present during a potentially risky or dangerous situation and does nothing to stop it.  They are not involved directly in the situation themselves.

What is the bystander approach?

The bystander approach offers practical strategies for addressing a problem when you see warning signs that may lead to violence.  When you’ve had the chance to think through how you might handle a situation and you feel a sense of responsibility towards solving the problem, you are more likely to intervene safely.

Some common steps that you may walk through as a bystander include (1) observing a problem, (2) assessing the situation, (3) taking action to intervene, and (4) following up with the people involved. One way to follow up may be to call the Center’s help line for assistance.

Why do people stand by when witnessing a problem?

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Now that we’re past Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday, it’s time for… Giving Tuesday!

We have a day for giving thanks. We have two for getting deals. This year help us create #GivingTuesday. A new day for giving back.  On Tuesday, December 2, 2014, global charities, families, businesses, community centers, students and more will come together to create #GivingTuesday.

It’s a simple idea. Just find a way for your family, your community, your company, or your organization to come together to give something more. Then tell everyone you can about how you are giving. Be a part of a national celebration of our great tradition of generosity.

Here’s a few ways you can support the Center this holiday season:

• Donate to our Year-End Campaign!
• Visit Twig through December 4. Mention the Orange County Rape Crisis Center at checkout to donate 10% of your purchase and receive a 10% discount.
• Donate your used cell phones and other items on our wishlist.
• Shop online at AmazonSmile. Register one time and choose the Orange County Rape Crisis Center as your beneficiary. Then each time you shop, simply start at smile.amazon.com, then shop Amazon as usual and they will donate .5% of the purchase price to the Center. It even works with Amazon Prime.

 
Celebrate Giving Tuesday with a gift to the Center! Join the global movement, and don’t forget to take an #unselfie. Show your support when you take a pic, tag it #unselfie, #givingtuesday, and #givelocal, and upload to your Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Instagram. Don’t forget to tag @OCRCC!

Thank you so much for your generosity! Your gift makes a safer community for us all.

We are very excited for our upcoming 27th Annual Holiday Auction, which will be on Sunday, November 23, at the Sheraton. Our offices are overflowing with unique auction items that will be up for bid next Sunday — check out our auction page for a sneak preview of select items. With a silent and live auction, live music, dinner, our signature dessert auction, and more, it’s going to be a lot of fun — and all for a great cause.

In addition to all the usual excitement, this Auction falls during our 40th anniversary. We have a few surprises up our sleeves to commemorate 40 years of providing help, hope, and healing in our community: We will unveil special artwork commissioned by Durham artist and activist Franco, and we will debut an amazingly beautiful and inspiring video by Ora about the work we do.

We also can’t wait to meet this year’s Auction guests! New York Times Bestselling Author Sarah Dessen will be our keynote speaker, Ron Stutts of WCHL’s Morning Show will be our auctioneer, and Matt Phillips will provide live music. Read below for more information about our guests, and visit our auction page to purchase admission tickets and enter our drawing to win A Night on the Town.

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A couple months ago, Chapel Hill native Ashley Warner, author of The Year After: A Memoir, spoke on WCHL about her book and held a reading at local bookstore Flyleaf Books, which was also a benefit night for the Center. Warner’s book is a beacon for those who are adrift, for those who feel like they are alone. And she is garnering recognition for her compelling testimony. As a winner of the 2014 Reviewer’s Choice Award for Best Memoir and a finalist in the 2014 International Book Awards for Best Non-Fiction Narrative, Warner is gaining a powerful voice in the literary world and offers an inside look into the recovery process, the details of which are often unknown to those who have not directly experienced interpersonal violence.

In the book, Warner talks about her assault, which took place over 20 years ago. It was a book that Warner wished she had had at the time of the attack, because it seems more manageable when you know you’re not alone. “It’s really comforting to know how other people have handled it,” she said. She wanted to truly communicate the ups and downs that she experienced, and that’s why it took so long to write. For those who have experienced interpersonal violence or know someone who has, it is all too true that recovery does not happen overnight, nor is there some magic step-by-step plan to make everything ‘better.’

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“I truly believe that the Center’s programs help armor children against child sexual abuse and bullying and provide the words and process for them to disclose ongoing or past abuse.”

Sonna Loewenthal has worn many hats at the Center. She has acted as a Board member, a Community Educator, and chair of the Nominating and Personnel Committees. Through all her different positions, Sonna has offered the Center invaluable support. We would like to both thank her and highlight her experiences at the Center.

After hearing positive reviews of the Center, Sonna decided to give her time as a member of the Board of Directors in 2004. During her tenure, she spent time as a chair of the Nominating Committee as well as chair of the Personnel Committee. Even having completed her term on the Board of Directors, Sonna still continues to serve on the Personnel Committee 10 years later!

Though her time on the Board and its committees allowed her to better understand the agency and its workings, Sonna finds her role as a Community Educator the most rewarding.

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