We are excited to announce the panel of judges of this year’s cupcake contest at Cupcakes & Cocktails! These judges will taste test our contestants’ delicious cupcake creations in order to award the Best Cupcake and Runner Up.

Plus, YOU be the judge when you join us for Cupcakes & Cocktails this Sunday, June 11, where we will also award a People’s Choice cupcake.

Eric Hodge

WUNC

Eric Hodge hosts WUNC’s broadcast of Morning Edition, and files reports for the North Carolina news segments of the broadcast. He started at the station in 2004 doing fill-in work on weekends and All Things Considered.

In August 2004, he took over the Morning Edition slot where he enjoys the challenge of bringing North Carolina news to listeners each weekday. Eric moved to Carrboro from New York City in 2000. He worked for the BBC and XFM radio while living in London, England. He has also run his own music marketing company, worked for major record labels in both New York and London, and worked on the Grammy Award nominated Harry Belafonte project, “The Anthology of Black Music.”

Eric grew up in Michigan, trained at the Broadcast Center in St. Louis with CBS’s KMOX radio and worked at a variety of stations in the Midwest and upstate New York.

Paola de Maayer

Fearrington House Restaurant

Paola was born and raised in Costa Rica. Originally working in the corporate world with a focus on human resources and management, she decided to pursue her true passion after relocating to the US. During her time in culinary school Paola was selected to work at the Food Network in New York City, developing and testing recipes. She joined Fearrington’s team as a cake designer in early 2015 and was promoted to Pastry Sous Chef in 2016.

Allison Hussey

Indy Week

Allison Hussey is the music editor at INDY Week, where she also occasionally writes about biscuits and junk food. Her writing has also appeared at Pitchfork, Bandcamp, Noisey, and The Bluegrass Situation. She grew up in Cary and now lives in Durham with a fat cat named Barry.

Christin Kubasko

Southern Sugar Bakery

Born and raised in Raleigh, Christin received her undergraduate degree from Meredith College (2010) and her Master’s degree from Appalachian State University (2012). After working for 3 years as a high school counselor for WCPSS, Christin pursued a dream she’d had for years and opened Southern Sugar Bakery with her friend and business partner, Angie Tucker. Southern Sugar Bakery has been a full-time operation since July 2015 and specializes in custom decorated sugar cookies and cookie cakes.

Melanie Wilson

People’s Choice, 2016 and 2015

Melanie Wilson is the People’s Choice winner for two years running! Her Grapefruit Shandy Cupcakes won over the crowds in 2016, following the victory of her Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Cupcakes in 2015. Melanie’s love of baking began early on with her Mom in the kitchen. Trying new cupcake recipes has become a hobby, and all her friends and family enjoy the role of taste tester. She is a North Carolina native and lives with her husband and two daughters in Hillsborough. When not baking, she works as a GIS Analyst creating maps supporting air quality research.

Join us for Cupcakes & Cocktails on Sunday, June 11, 2:30-5pm, at Tandem in Carrboro. Enjoy a cupcake contest, the 2017 signature cocktail, live music, a wine wall, and more! Admission includes unlimited cupcakes and one drink ticket. Tickets can be purchased online for $40 per person by June 7, or if available, at the door for $50. See you there!

Myth: If a guy rapes someone, he probably didn’t mean to things just got out of control.

Fact: Perpetrators rape with intention, and they do so out of sexual entitlement, in order to gain power and control.

This myth is often used as an excuse for male aggression. It assumes that women and other survivors are responsible for male sexual arousal and that that arousal is an uncontrollable urge that must be satisfied. Other versions of this myth suggest that men may be too dumb or too bad at communication to recognize if a person is not interested, especially if he is drunk or aroused.

This myth gets two things wrong. Firstly, it lumps all men in the category of rapists. While most rapists are male, the vast majority of men never commit rape. Sexual arousal is a strong urge in human beings, but it is controllable. Claiming that men cannot control their urges is inaccurate and unfair to men. Secondly, it makes rape seem unintentional.

David Lisak’s research into what he terms “undetected rapists” has found that while perpetrators don’t name what they do as rape, they do intentionally use violent and predatory behavior in order to commit multiple acts of sexual violence. Lisak says: “Date rapists are widely assumed to be basically good guys who, because of a combination of too much alcohol and too little clear communication, end up coercing sex upon their partners. This image is widely promulgated, but it is flatly contradicted by research.”

The motives for rape are complex and varied but often include belief in male privilege and their entitlement to sex; hostility toward women and historically marginalized and oppressed people; a rigid belief system regarding gender roles; a commitment to hyper-masculinity; the desire to exert power and control; the desire to humiliate and degrade; and in some cases, the desire to inflict pain. A study of convicted sex offenders in prison found that most incarcerated rapists already have available and willing sexual partners. Many perpetrators rape in order to gain power and control – not for sexual gratification or because of sexual frustration. Sometimes, erection and ejaculation are not even present during the rape.

Yet because of cultural messages surrounding sex and a general lack of education about consent in our society, many people assume that rape is just a matter of confusion or miscommunication. But that’s not true. Rapists know when they do not have consent; they intentionally inflict violence on others. This is either for the gratification of the violence or because they have been taught that they are entitled to others’ bodies regardless of their feelings or desires.

There certainly may be situations where the desire for sex can be seen as a motive for rape. However, choosing to engage in sexual activity without the other person’s consent – that is, the definition of rape – is an expression of entitlement, power, and control.

This post is part of a series on Myths & Facts about Sexual Violence:

– Myth #1: “He Didn’t Mean To”
– Myth #2: “She Lied”
– Myth #3: “She Asked For It”
– Myth #4: “It Wasn’t Really Rape”

Take a moment to consider something we don’t always think about—a difficult topic that is rarely discussed: rape. We hear about it in the news, on social media, in public safety announcements, on TV. But we don’t always take the time to really think about rape. For example, if someone asked you for an explicit definition of rape right now, do you think you could give an accurate one?

If you’re as informed as the general public is, the answer to that question is probably no—and that’s okay! Because over the course of this blog series, we’ll be taking the time to break down the myths and facts about sexual violence.

Simply put, people tend to know more myths than facts about rape. Rape myths are dangerous because they normalize sexual violence and tell us that violence is the natural order of things. They say that only certain types of people can experience rape and only certain types of people can be perpetrators, which leads to victim-blaming and leaves the root causes of sexual violence unaddressed.

So why do people subscribe to rape myths?

• Because they believe in stereotypes and discriminatory ideas.
• Because they have never thought to question myths they have been told since childhood.
• Because the myths give them a sense of safety. For example, if you believe that women who dress provocatively are more likely to be raped, then you could take comfort in the idea that dressing modestly would protect you from violence.

It’s important that we recognize the myths that we ourselves hold about sexual violence because rape myths have serious consequences. Without critically rejecting them, we encourage perpetration, discourage bystander intervention, and promote victim blaming—sometimes without even realizing that we’re doing it.

People who accept rape myths are more likely to commit rape.
Rape myths act as a justification for perpetrators’ aggression—a way to rationalize what they’ve done as something other than violence. Perpetrators often believe that victims secretly want to be coerced into sex, or that they “deserve” to be raped. Rape myths allow perpetrators to justify their violent behaviors. And when bystanders make comments or jokes supporting rape myths, that encourages perpetrators and provides “cover” for their actions. In order to effectively prevent sexual violence in our society, we must address the common myths that support acceptance of rape, denigration of survivors, and impunity for perpetrators.

People who accept rape myths are less likely to intervene when they witness sexual violence.
Bystanders are less likely to intervene in cases of sexual assault when they accept rape myths. For example, a bystander may witness a situation in which someone is too drunk to consent, but they may not intervene because they accept the rape myth that victims are responsible for preventing their own assaults. When bystanders don’t intervene, rapists think their behavior is okay (or at least accepted by their peers), and it allows them to further rationalize the violence and continue to perpetrate.

People who accept rape myths are more likely to blame the victim.
Many rape myths disguise themselves as efforts to protect women—as “safety tips” to “prevent” rape. You’ve probably heard phrases like, “Use the buddy system,” “Don’t walk alone at night,” “Dress and act modestly,” or “Always carry a cell phone!” The idea that women are even partially responsible for preventing their own victimization leads to risk-reduction strategies that often encourage victim blaming. Regardless of the efficacy of these tips for any individual person, they fail to address the fundamental problem: the behavior of perpetrators.

Additionally, “while it’s not a bad thing for women to learn how to assess risk, learn self-defense, and learn how to define personal boundaries,” it puts the responsibility on the survivor to not be raped and does not guarantee their safety. Furthermore, if one person reduces their risk of rape by following a restrictive safety plan, they’re only trying to ensure that they’re not the person experiencing rape. This is not true prevention because the perpetrator will end up targeting someone else. Only by addressing perpetrator responsibility and active bystander intervention can we help make everyone safer and ensure that we are all able to live without fear and constraint.

The pervasive nature of common rape myths often plays a big role in keeping survivors silent, increasing feelings of self-blame and stigma that survivors experience after an assault. Identifying and recognizing harmful beliefs as myths can help us support survivors with compassion and without question.

In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we are going to explore the following common myths and explain the facts that counter them over the next few weeks. 

– Myth #1: “He Didn’t Mean To”
– Myth #2: “She Lied”
– Myth #3: “She Asked For It”
– Myth #4: “It Wasn’t Really Rape”

If you want to make an end to sexual violence in your community we hope that you’ll follow along and start important conversations with your friends and family about these damaging beliefs.